Time to Say I Love You?

BY : SaphiraIce
Category: Manga G to L > Koi Suru Boukun (The Tyrant Falls in Love) > Koi Suru Boukun (The Tyrant Falls in Love)
Dragon prints: 2661
Disclaimer: Koi Suru Boukun does not belong to me and I make no money off of this. For entertainment purposes only

Time to Say I Love You?

 

This takes place after volume 7. 

 

Disclaimer: Koi Suru Boukun belongs to Hinako Takanaga, not me and I make no money from this.  This is for entertainment purposes only. 

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Souichi was annoyed. His and Morinaga's relationship had finally progressed but lately his kouhai had kept asking him to tell him he loved him. He had kissed him and he had admitted that he liked being with the man in that sense but he still wasn't sure if it was love. He didn't like it being forced out of him either. So when Morinaga came up to him in their apartment, he assumed he was going to bug him again and he snapped.

"Leave me alone, already. I'm not going to say 'I love you,' and you can't make me. You want me to say something I don't mean?" He looked up at the younger man after his tirade to see a blank kind of look on his face.

"I was doing the laundry," Morinaga said, looking down at the bundle of clothes in his arms. "These are yours. Do you want me to put them in your room or should I just give them to you?" And he looked back up at his sempai with that same blank look on his face, like he was trying not to show his emotions on his face. 

Souichi was temporarily confused. Morinaga had come to give me my clothes? "Um, just give them here." Morinaga handed them over, then took the clothes hamper with him to the bathroom and shut the door. A few minutes later Souichi could hear the water start running and guilt started gnawing at him. He thought Morinaga was going to bug him about the l-word again, not about clothes. Then again, it was Morinaga's own fault since he'd been so persistent. He tried to tell himself it wasn't his fault but still the guilt gnawed at him. He decided to apologize when Morinaga came out of the bathroom except he wasn't sure what to say. In the meantime he put up his clothes; he'd think of something when the time came.

Morinaga, meanwhile, was trying to figure out what to do in the bath. Senpai basically just told me he doesn't love me. I thought we were on the same page but maybe I was mistaken again. It wouldn't be the first time. That time he kissed me on his own, I thought I must be dreaming, but he did it again when I asked so I thought it meant he liked me too. But what if he didn't want to do it for himself but was doing it to make up with me? He thought I was mad at him and he knows that that sort of thing would make me happy so maybe that's all it was. Morinaga's heart tugged painfully. Have I been wrongly interpreting things how I want again? He didn't know the answer but he could only assume he had. Why else would he have reacted so violently? Normally he would go talk to his senpai about each others' feelings but he was afraid Souichi would get angry again and he didn't want him mad at him more than he already was. He sat, soaking in the warm water, ruminating on his thoughts and doubts before getting out. While he dressed he decided space was the answer. Senpai is obviously tired of my clinginess so I'm going to back off and prepare myself for the worst. If I really did misunderstand then this time I'm going to give up. I claim to love him yet time and time again I'm forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do. 

When Souichi heard Morinaga get out, he busied himself, not wanting to look like he had been waiting for him, except Morinaga headed straight into his room. Souichi heard the door shut was surprised that he didn't even say goodnight to him.  It also meant he either had to wait to talk to him tomorrow or go into his room. He stood there for a minute, indecisively. It was embarrassing for him to have to apologize but the guilt kept eating at him. He knew Morinaga would probably forgive him pretty quickly, even if he didn't say sorry, but he didn't feel it was right not to say anything. He finally decided to knock on Morinaga's door, which was the last thing the younger man expected. He thought his sempai would either ignore him or pretend like nothing had happened as per usual. He opened the door with some trepidation, wondering what Souichi wanted and hoping he wasn't too mad at him. He stood there expectantly waiting for Souichi to start.

Souichi was rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding looking at Morinaga. "About earlier…I'm sorry.  It came out really harsh." He looked kind of sheepishly at Morinaga, seeing if he was forgiven yet. The younger man blinked, completely not expecting an apology. It's not like the older man had never apologized to him before but it wasn't exactly his forte. A small ember of hope lit up in his heart, try as he might to ignore it.

"It's ok. I have been pretty pushy about it lately. I've been getting impatient again, even though I told myself I wouldn't be like that. I won't ask anymore though, ok?" He had looked down but now looked back up at the older man with a gentle smile.  Souichi nodded, satisfied that everything was fine.  Morinaga then bid him goodnight, and retired into his room.

All week, Morinaga was like his normal cheerful self, but there was something that seemed off to Souichi.  It wasn't until they were walking home at the end of the week that he was finally able to put his finger on it.  Morinaga had been cheerful but it was his polite smile that he kept wearing.  He wasn't smiling for real, not the way Souichi was accustomed to him smiling at him.  Something else he had noticed: Morinaga had not touched him once all week.  And he didn't just mean in a loving or sexual way.  He hadn't touched him at all.  Normally they would brush occasionally because of working in such close quarters in the lab and Morinaga was usually touching him in some casual way whether it was a hand on his shoulder or trying to steal a kiss.  Even in the evenings at home, Morinaga stayed in his room and barely spoke to him except to say goodnight.  Souichi had thought he was merely working but now he knew the brunette had been avoiding him.  He wasn't sure what to do about this realization.  He should be happy that Morinaga was backing off!  Though, whether he really enjoyed the younger man's attentions or not, it just wasn't natural for Morinaga to be so subdued and reserved. They continued home in silence as Souichi continued contemplating the situation. 

Morinaga, as usual that night, tried to act like his normal self, smiling politely, cooking, and cleaning like he normally did but he felt like there was a heavy awkwardness between them.  Souichi felt it too and so offered to help clean up the kitchen.  Morinaga told him not to, that he was almost finished, smiling like normal. Souichi was feeling a little frustrated at the space that had formed between them, but wasn't sure what to do about it so he just stood there a moment, trying to decide what action to take next. After a moment of deliberation, Souichi decided that the best way was to just get everything out in the open.

"You're still upset about what I said, aren't you?" Morinaga had just put the last dish back in the cabinet and turned to face him, placing the towel on the counter with a surprised look on his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean when I said I didn't want to be forced into saying that."

"That?"

"You know…the l-word." Morinaga blinked at him a minute, bringing his memory to earlier in the week then trying to decide on the most tactful way of proceeding.

He started out slowly, "I admit, I was upset, but you were right. You shouldn't be forced into saying something so important, especially if you don't feel that way." Morinaga tried to say it nonchalantly, like it wasn't a big deal, but Souichi knew him better than that.

"It's not like that!  I care about you but I don't know if it's love or not.  Ok?"  He looked at Morinaga, seeing if he understood and waiting for his response.  Morinaga was looking down at his hands, trying to digest what his senpai had said and trying to figure out exactly what that meant.  He cares about but isn't sure if he loves?  Or rather he doesn't but is trying to keep from hurting my feelings.  Morinaga continued not saying anything and Souichi could tell he didn't understand what he was trying to say.  As a desperate measure, the older man rushed forward, grabbing the front of Morinaga's shirt.  He saw his kouhai's eyes widened in surprise briefly before he pressed their lips together.  It was embarrassing and he felt awkward but he didn't stop, practically attacking his mouth in his normal aggressive fashion.  Somewhere at the back of his mind, when Morinaga started kissing him back, he realized he had been craving this.  He'd kept it locked in a box in his heart, pretending like it wasn't there, only to have it all bursting forth at once. 

Souichi wrapped his arms around Morinaga's neck, pressing himself closer while Morinaga wrapped his arms tightly around his senpai, not believing what was happening, but not questioning it too much either.  Souichi moaned into the kiss as their tongues clashed and Morinaga desperately wanted to touch him more, but didn't dare just yet.  They pulled away with a light smack, both panting, eyes clouded.  Souichi then started pulling them toward Morinaga's bedroom.  Morinaga still seemed hesitant so Souichi kissed him again, all the while backing toward the bedroom. 

When they got there Morinaga still looked like he wanted to protest.  Souichi was starting to get pissed.  Why the heck isn't he doing anything?  Normally by this point he's already got most of my clothes off!  He decided he was going to have to take control for once, blushing at that revelation, but not letting it deter his determination.  Reversing their positions, he pushed Morinaga onto the bed, then started pulling the younger man's clothes off.  The brunette kept trying to say something and pulling at his hands, trying to get him to stop, but Souichi wasn't in a listening mood and kept kissing him to shut him up.  Before long Morinaga's clothes were gone and the blonde knelt between his kouhai's legs, leaning over him and looking into his eyes before dragging his attention to the brunette's arousal.  He looked back into the younger man's eyes as he slowly dragged his hand down Morinaga's stomach before grasping the base of his cock.  He noticed that the younger man had finally stopped resisting; eyes locked on to what the blonde was doing, and smirked.  He supposed having a hand on your cock could have that effect. 

He stroked slowly, gaze flicking back and forth between his hand going up and down on Morinaga's cock and the younger man's face as he tried to quiet his moans and gasps.  Souichi was surprised at just how turned on he was, his pants becoming uncomfortably tight.  Looking at Morinaga's nightstand he saw a bottle of lube.  He leaned forward and grabbed it, dumping some in his hands before going back to stroking Morinaga.  He also slipped his fingers below his kouhai's scrotum, brushing against his opening.  Morinaga gasped, head tilting back and legs spreading ever so slightly.  Souichi took that as an invitation and slowly pressed a finger in.  He'd never done this before and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to.  Surprised at how hot and tight it was, he slid his finger in and out, turning the digit, adding more, mimicking what Morinaga always did to him.  Soon Morinaga's hips were moving slightly in rhythm with Souichi's fingers, one hand fisted in his mouth, trying to muffle his voice while the other fisted in the sheets.  Souichi felt the brunette's legs tremble and knew he must be close so he removed both hands from the brunette's body.  Morinaga groaned at the loss, but not for long.  The older man practically ripped his clothes off in his rush, then recovered the bottle of lube, this time pouring some over his own cock.  He pressed the tip of his cock against Morinaga, leaning over him, with his hands on either side of him on the bed, looking into his eyes while he slowly pushed in.  It slid in easily and soon he was seated fully inside his kouhai, watching as his hands clutched the sheets.  Souichi started rocking, quickly picking up the pace, figuring out how best to move while Morinaga moved with him.  The younger man's legs wrapped around his sempai while he grasped the sheets tighter and moans fell from his mouth.  He couldn't believe that Souichi was not only willingly having sex with him but topping him.  He even started it!  One of Morinaga's hands went to stroking his cock and it didn't take long before the pressure became too much and they both released.  Souichi fell on top of the younger man, both of them panting as they came down from their high. 

When they had mostly recovered themselves, the blonde rolled off Morinaga and lay beside him on the bed.  Morinaga kept wipes in his nightstand and reached for them now, using them to clean up, then pulling a sheet over them.  Morinaga lay on his side, looking at his senpai who looked contemplative.  He worried that the older man regretted what had just happened. 

"What are you thinking about?"  Souichi looked startled like he had forgotten the other was there, then merely lay there looking at the other's face.  He moved his hand to cup Morinaga's face, rubbing his thumb over the brunette's cheek in a tender but uncharacteristic way.  Morinaga didn't know what to say nor recognized the look in his senpai's eyes.  He was baffled and waiting for him to say something.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" Morinaga asked, completely thrown by his senpai's mood and statement.  Souichi took another moment before answering. 

"I…like you." Another pause ensued.  "It took me a long time to realize it and even longer to admit it and I'm sorry for being a jerk about it."  Morinaga felt like crying but managed to restrain himself.  He pulled Souichi into his arms, holding him close.

"Senpai, I love you.  I feel like I should be the one apologizing.  I've always pushed and prodded you when I should've backed off but every time you surprise me by indulging me.  I love you so much."

Souichi let his kouhai pull him close and pressed his forehead against the base of Morinaga's neck, hearing the words he's said so many times and blushing.  Before, hearing "I love you" was just embarrassing and ridiculous, but now it meant something to him.  While he wasn't ready to say the words himself, he felt like he might be able to someday.



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