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Title: Desire: Right As Rain Rating: PG - R Character: Toru and Ryoji Disclaimer: I don’t own “Desire” and I make no money from writing these stories.Summary: It had to happen someday; Ryoji’s parents find out about his relationship with Toru… Desire: Right As Rain -ibshafer Toru had never been so worried in his life. His hands grasped the bus seat in from of him and he
Ryoji's bus stop.
Toru couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
For the first time since he'd known him, Ryoji had missed school.
They’d been friends for almost three years now and since the day, over a year ago, when Toru
Until today.
Ryoji always called the very first thing, before his feet had even hit the floor. He called to ask
But today Ryoji hadn’t called him. Toru had been calling his cell all day long and had left a
Ryoji never got sick - he was the strongest, healthiest person Toru had ever known – but what if
Toru grew dizzy and his heart raced at the thought. What would he do if something had
He was wiping tears off his face when the bus turned onto the right street and he had to grab his
On the street, he fumbled clumsily with his umbrella and when it refused to open, he pitched it
Ryoji's building was a high rise and the Nakajo's lived on the second to last floor. Riding the
He didn't care if he was wet. He only cared that Ryoji was all right.
In front of the door now, Toru was about to hit the buzzer, when he heard something very
The Nakajos were all like Ryoji – easy-going and friendly. Was that Ryoji's father's voice? Were
What was happening?!
Maybe something was going on with the family.
Should I even be here?
If they were yelling at each other, that must mean at least Ryoji wasn't sick or hurt. He
Toru stood in the hallway, embarrassed and annoyed with himself at his own impetuousness -
At this point, Toru reminded himself that he hadn’t actually done anything yet. He’d taken a bus
He would just go home, barricade himself in his room with his cell phone and wait to hear from
He trudged back to the elevator, sodden book bag trailing behind him.
He was just about to press the button when he heard the metallic click of the door latch behind
"Maiki-kun?"
Toru spun to find Reiji, Ryoji's older sister, standing in the open doorway of the Nakajo
"Oh! Reiji-san!" Toru bowed, face red.
In the young woman’s hand was a small bag of trash and Toru thought she had probably offered
"How have you been," she asked nervously, clearly embarrassed.
From the apartment, more yelling and the sound of someone stomping across the floor.
“…um, okay…” Toru mumbled, utterly distracted by what was happening inside.
There could now be no mistaking the sounds of a heated argument coming from within the
Again, he wished he could see Ryoji, just to get a glimpse of him. He no longer thought Ryoji
Toru realized he probably looked like he was trying to stare a hole through the door and he
"I-I was worried about Ryoji," Toru said, keeping his voice low. "He didn't come to school. I'm
His apology was cut short when Ryoji's voice, louder still, cut out into the hallway and this time,
"I told you - it was my idea!! Stop blaming Toru!!"
Toru felt all the blood drain out of his body.
What?!
Toru wasn't always quick to catch on to things, but you didn't have to be a genius to know what
Ryoji's parents had found out.
They had found out about Ryoji’s relationship with Toru.
Ryoji's sister looked stricken, clearly sorry that Toru had heard what he'd heard. "I'm sorry,
She put a hand on his arm to steer him back towards the elevator, but Toru was in shock, rooted
Ryoji’s parents knew…
What would they do to him?
Would they send him away? Would they forbid them from ever seeing each other again?
He felt like he couldn’t breath, clutched his chest to try and calm his pounding heart. Reiji still
What if they sent Ryoji away?
What he heard next was Ryoji’s voice, Ryoji’s wonderful, beautiful, passionate voice.
"I don't care! I told you - I love Toru! No woman could ever make me as happy as he does!"
Ryoji!
Ryoji loved him. It had to be all right because Ryoji loved him!
More muffled angry words from inside. It sounded like they were yelling at each other from
Ryoji!
What was Ryoji going through because of him? How could Toru leave him here to bear the brunt
Wasn't this really Toru's fault after all?
He felt the tears start to spill down his face, brushed them away angrily.
“I-I’ve got to go in there. I have to explain…” Toru was shaking his head and mumbling, talking
“Maiki-kun. Toru.” Reiji pulled at his arm again. “You really don't want to go in there. Father is
"No," he said, shaking his head. Ryoji had brought more than just love into Toru's life; he had
Reiji's eyes pleaded with him. "Please... I promise I'll go back inside and tell Ryoji you were
Toru knew she was only trying to help and he appreciated her clear wish to spare both him and
"I'm sorry, Reiji-san," he whispered. "But I’m going in there - no matter wh--"
"Toru?!" Ryoji was standing in the door, leaning out into the hallway, a look of utter confusion
Before Toru had a chance to answer, Ryoji was in the hallway and Toru was in his arms. He let
“You’re wet, idiot,” Ryoji said, all trace of anger gone from his voice as he pressed a kiss to
“I did…” He buried his face in Ryoji’s neck, basked in the reassurance of Ryoji smells; peppery
It didn’t last, though; it wasn’t long before Ryoji remembered that his sister was standing there
"Reiji, what were you saying to Toru?" The anger was back, throwing shadows into the sunlight
"I was trying to save him from the battle royale in there!" she huffed, smile fading and arms
Ryoji seemed like he was going to start shouting again – he and Reiji were always picking at
"Fine, fine. Point taken."
Ryoji ran a hand up Toru’s back and whether from pleasure or the cold, Toru shivered.
“Jeez,” he gasped, “You really are wet.” He stood back, patting through Toru’s sodden clothing.
To Toru’s utter humiliation, Ryoji started to pull Toru’s uniform jacket off, then looked over his
“Ryoji, please – that really isn’t necessary,” Toru said, attempting to pull away from Ryoji’s
Hands at the buttons of Toru’s wet shirt, Ryoji looked back from his sister to Toru, eyebrows
Reiji was wearing a heavy, cable-knit cardigan of nubby cream wool. She gave him an
Ryoji had gotten him stripped down to the skin, much to Toru’s embarrassment. He rubbed his
“I’ll have it dry cleaned and send it back up to school for you,” Ryoji said to his sister while he
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about them. I’ve been wet before, you know.”
Toru was just relieved to see Ryoji and know that he was all right, at least physically and the
Ryoji winked at him. “I know you have.”
Suddenly, there were voices again from inside the apartment and Ryoji stiffened against him.
Would his parents discover them in the hallway?
Toru felt the panic start to rise in him, but Ryoji was feeling the same urgency.
"Reiji, do me a favor,” he said quickly. “Go back in there and tell the old man I've gone out for a
She nodded. She might have wanted to argue that this wasn’t the best time to be leaving the
"It's still raining, idiot," she said to her brother. "Want me to try and sneak an umbrella out?"
"Nah," Ryoji said. "We’ll be fine.”
Reiji seemed confused, but relented with a nod. She disappeared back into the apartment closing
Ryoji stood frozen for a moment, as though he expected to hear his father’s voice again, perhaps
As they went through the doorway, Toru had a million questions, not least of which was why
Toru's reflexive moan was all surrender.
He wanted to argue, he thought he should push him away, but as always, Ryoji was too
Against his better judgment, Toru felt all his resistance melt away and he gave himself up to the
With an effort, Toru pulled away.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, glancing downward, annoyed with himself for doing it, at
Ryoji, as usual, was unfazed. “I’m thinking that I’ve been wanting to kiss my boyfriend all day
“Do you really think this is the time for this?” Toru suddenly felt as though the heavy fire door at
“Cut me some slack, Toru. I’m a healthy boy in love.”
Toru flushed, but stood firm, arms folded in front of him.
He wanted to be flattered, he wanted to give in – he always gave in – but today…today would be
The whole awful day, all his fears and frustrations, the implications of what he’d since learned,
"Do you have any idea how worried I was, idiot?!” he sputtered, breathing hard, fists balled at
“Nothing’s wrong with me,” Ryoji laughed. He glanced downward, then whistled in
Toru was flattered, but if there was anything he was a master of, it was masking his feelings; his
Eventually Ryoji sighed, his expression sobering.
“Okay, okay, you’re right. I know this isn’t the best time, but it’s been a pretty crappy day for
For the first time since he’d gotten there, Toru could see the day’s affects on Ryoji. He’d been so
Toru’s heart broke. As much as he loved the Ryoji that was full of life, it was at times like these,
And maybe Toru needed someone to protect just as much as Ryoji did.
“All day long, all I could think about was you, that no matter what happened, it didn’t matter
“I do love you,” Toru murmured. “I always have. I always will.”
Ryoji slipped a hand along Toru’s jaw line and into his hair, tipping his chin up as he drew him
“C’mon,” Ryoji said, grabbing Toru’s hand and pulling him towards the stairs.
“W-where are we going?”
Ryoji had draped Toru’s wet jacket and shirt over the banister when they’d come into the
“The roof, silly,” he said with a grin.
Toru was about to remind Ryoji that it was raining – and he was still wearing wet pants – but
Ryoji always wanted to go to the roof and if that’s what he wanted right now, then that’s where
Out in the rain.
In a way, it almost seemed like synchronicity, as though every turning point in Toru’s
When he thought of it that way, he almost welcomed it...
Ryoji led him up the flight of metal stairs to the roof, their footsteps echoing down into the
Toru didn’t know what to expect when they reached the top, but an elaborate rooftop garden
“Wow,” he said, trying to take it all in. “This is amazing.”
Ryoji just grinned and nodded.
Beneath a tin overhang, they stood holding hands and watching the falling rain render the garden
Which is why Ryoji had brought him up here, Toru thought.
Instead of the gazebo, though, Ryoji pulled him over to the left, where there was, of all things, a
Toru was confused. They’d come to the roof to do laundry?
“It’s for the upper floors to use,” Ryoji said, misreading Toru’s surprise. “They set it up when
Toru poked him in the arm. “You don’t fool me. You’d probably drag whatever girl you were
“Am I really that obvious,” Ryoji asked, with a wry grin
“Maybe.” Toru shrugged. “And maybe I just know you really well.”
Well enough to know when it was time to stop playing and deal with what was really going on.
He squeezed Ryoji’s arm. “Tell me what happened today. Obviously, they found out about us.
Ryoji blew out a breath. “Well... It’s not good.” Opening the nearest dryer, Ryoji tossed in
Toru scowled at him. “Don’t make a joke out of it, Ryoji. This is serious.”
“After seven hours of tag-team tough-love, you don’t think I know that?”
He hoisted himself up on the dryer, then jumped down again, holding out his hand. “Here, you
Ryoji lifted him easily onto the vibrating dryer and the heat immediately began to seep into his
Toru didn’t know how to ask this next question. Even though they’d been making love with
Toru had no doubt that he was gay, but Ryoji? How did he think of himself. He’d certainly slept
Clearly, it mattered to Ryoji’s parents.
He opened his eyes to find Ryoji staring at him and blushed.
“So...um,” Toru stammered for a moment, then jumped into the deep end. “So, they found out
Toru was startled when Ryoji shook his head.
“I’m not gay, Toru,” he said and Toru’s heart sank.
“I-I know you’re not, your bi-”
“I’m not bi, either.” Ryoji moved closer to the machine Toru was sitting on, slotting himself
Toru bit his lip. “Never’s a long time, Ryoji.”
“I’m counting on it,” he said, kissing Toru’s forehead.
The spinning balloon of feeling in his chest suddenly burst, sending warmth and light and what
Toru thought he’d been in love before, but he’d just found out what love really felt like.
To keep himself from floating away, Toru looked the 800-pound gorilla straight in the eye.
“So, what now?”
Ryoji had pulled him closer so he could lay his head on Toru’s shoulder and now Toru leaned in
“What will they do? Cut you off? Send you away? Should we get a place together? And what
“Whoa! Whoa!” Ryoji caught Toru’s face in his hands and steadied him. “That’s a lot of
“How can you be so sure? Your father isn’t going to change his mind.” Toru was crying full out
“All of which I have done or will do.”
Toru looked at him like he was crazy. “Yeah, right, and how are you going to carry on the family
“You’ve never heard of surrogates? The baby can even be mine.”
Toru sat blinking. Ryoji had really given this some thought. He’d thought of a way to give his
Which was Toru.
Feeling suddenly flushed, Toru fanned his face with a hand.
“What? Now you’re hot?” He started to move Toru off the dryer, but Toru stopped him.
“What are you really saying, Ryoji?”
“I’m saying that I hadn’t really thought about the future before but now it’s all I can think about
Did Ryoji really mean that, what it sounded like he meant, or was this just a joke? Toru fought
“I’m pretty sure, Ryoji, that you and your parents have completely different ideas of what
Ryoji just stared at him. “Have you forgotten who you’re in love with?” Without warning, he
Toru was about to say a number of things, such as “Of course, I haven’t. I’m in love with Ryoji
Toru was sprawled in a most unseemly way atop the clothes dryer, head lolling on the instrument
Ryoji licked his lips and stood back.
“That wasn’t fair, you know,” Toru muttered, but he was a little too sated to be that mad. “I’m
Clearly feeling industrious, Ryoji pulled Toru’s now dry and warm clothing out of the dryer and
“How do you know that wasn’t my plan from the beginning,” he said with a wink, slipping the
Toru felt like a little kid again being dressed by his mom...except his mother wouldn’t know that
His uniform shirt was next. Ryoji paused while buttoning it up to pinch Toru’s already perky
“Stop trying to distract me,” Toru hissed, but it was a losing battle and he knew it. “T-this isn’t -
“No, of course not.” Ryoji turned around and leaned back against the dryer between Toru’s legs.
Toru was feeling relaxed and loose after Ryoji’s...surprise. He was thinking it was surprising in
Needing to feel more of him, Toru sat himself up and wrapped his arms around Ryoji’s body.
“I’ll say it again,” Ryoji continued. “Have I ever not gotten what I wanted?” Toru only had to
“Which means what?”
Toru clasped his hands together to steady himself as he perched comfortably on Ryoji’s back. He
“Which means that he just has to get used to the idea.” Ryoji bounced Toru once, chuckling
“It’s okay,” Toru whispered, lips against Ryoji’s ear. “Stop beating yourself up, Ryoji. It was a
Ryoji’s big body shivered beneath him, just a little bit.
“You’ve got to stop that,” he said, his voice low. “Or I’m going to have to fuck you...”
“Ryoji!” Toru found exposed skin, Ryoji’s forearm, and pinched him hard.
“Ow!” he cried, stopping in his tracks. “What’d you do that for?”
Because we need to get back downstairs and deal with this.
“Because you’re just stalling for time, Ryoji. That’s not like you at all.” To emphasize the point,
In a split second, Ryoji had dropped Toru to the ground and backed him up against the laundry
“It’s not like me to want to fuck you?” Ryoji hissed, but Toru could hear the amusement mixed
Ah!
Toru wanted to remind Ryoji...wanted to remind him of something, but right now...right now he
We were going somewhere, weren’t we...?
Ryoji ground their hips together and Toru felt his eyes start to roll back into his head, but before
“Wow,” Toru whispered, reverently.
Oblivious, Ryoji blushed. “I know. That’s what a whole day of ‘wanting Toru’ feels like.
“No, idiot,” Toru giggled, unable to pull his eyes from what he was seeing. He pointed with his
Ryoji had taken them back out onto the roof again and they stood in the doorway staring in
“Wow...” Ryoji echoed.
“I wish I had my sketch pad with me,” Toru said. The urge to draw was almost as strong the urge
Just then, Ryoji started to laugh. It was a helpless sort of laughter and, confused, Toru just stared
“What was that all about,” he asked suspiciously, when Ryoji was sighing out the last bit of
“What you said reminded me of something.” Ryoji bit his lip, blushing again and Toru’s heart
Toru stopped short, taken aback by the juxtaposition of the serious against the backdrop of silly.
“I...hadn’t even thought about it, I guess. Probably, you let something stupid slip...”
Ryoji was still biting his lip as he shook his head.
“Nope, no slips...”
Now Toru was really spooked. What was the look on Ryoji’s face all about?
“Did I ever tell you about my folder?”
Toru stood blinking at him in surprise. “Your folder? Folder of what?”
“I...um, I keep a folder, under my mattress...”
Toru was starting to lose patience.
“Why would you keep a folder under your mattress, Ryoji?” But he knew the answer to that one
“Remember that drawing you gave me for my birthday? The one of me and my dick.”
Toru rolled his eyes. “That was not the point of that drawing, Ryoji! It was the light coming
“Well, it started me thinking about...about how we can’t always be together when we...when one
All at once, Toru felt the blood drain from his body again. His knees felt weak.
He knew exactly what Ryoji was talking about.
Sometime after that birthday, nearly a year ago now, Ryoji had pulled out a tiny digital camera -
Toru fixed him with a heated glare.
“You promised me.”
“I know! I know!” Ryoji started backing away, hands up in front of him. “But...but then I
“And you kept them in a folder under your bed...” Toru said, voice dead, which was how he felt.
Ryoji’s parents had seen those pictures. They’d seen Ryoji having sex with him. They’d seen...he
“How did they find the folder, Ryoji.”
Ryoji’s nervous laughter did little to lift Toru’s mood.
“That’s pretty funny, actually,” he said, pulling on Toru’s arm, but Toru was currently stiff as a
“‘Oops?!’” Toru was incredulous. “‘Oops!!?’ Is that all you can say?!” He punched Ryoji in the
With this thumb and forefinger, he started flicking Ryoji - his head, his arms, his belly - and
Finally, he grabbed both of Toru’s hands and held them still at his sides, a sweetly intense look
“Are you done now,” Ryoji asked, his voice low, but gentle. Toru nodded. Releasing him, Ryoji
Toru snorted. “Is that what you were doing when I got here? I didn’t hear any talking - only
Ryoji shrugged. “That’s how it starts with us. We get all the yelling out of the way and then we
Toru couldn’t believe it. This was all part of the Nakajo Crisis Protocol?
Huh.
“Y-you’re serious, aren’t you,” Toru asked. “Do you really think it’s going to be all right?”
Ryoji nodded, taking Toru’s hand and kissing it. “I do.” He raised an eyebrow, realizing what
Toru’s heart fluttered in his chest like a caged bird. Helium was filling the balloon again.
“If you do, then I–I do, too...”
Ryoji took Toru’s hands again, pulling them around his own back until Toru was holding him
After a moment, he pulled away. “It’s going to be okay, Toru. You have to trust me.”
“I-I do trust you,” Toru replied, still breathless from the kiss. He slid his arms up Ryoji’s back
Ryoji stepped back, lower lip between his teeth. “Not exactly...”
Grabbing Toru’s hand, he started pulling him towards the door to the stairwell.
“I told them you would carry it.”
“Ryoji!!!”
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