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Drink away your inhibitions	By : lalaloopsyland Category: Manhwa Misc > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 239 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own killing stalking and i make no money from this story.

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Yoonbum smiles warmly at him and seungbae slowly smiles back, making their way to the dance floor. Yoonbum felt uneasy at first as the bodies pressed up against him, too inebriated by the music to be aware who was around them. But as seungbae started moving to the beat, taking yoonbum’s hand and pulling him closer, that apprehension had dwindled, and they became slowly entranced by their surroundings.

As the lights started to dim, Yoonbum couldn’t quite take his eyes off him in that moment. Between the frail button on his white shirt that might snap off and the tender way that he had always looked at Yoonbum…It was so conflictingly bewildering.

Yoonbum had always found him good-looking, but the atmosphere felt too potent. So much so that ..he had thoughts of seungbae snatching him away to the bathroom, gripping his hands so he would be unable to escape and then having his way with him against the bathroom mirror.

It was so unpredictable that it was arousing.

Why can’t he just..

seungbae is awkward with his movements, misplacing a few steps and at another point even trampling his shoe on yoonbums foot.

“Shit..sorry.”

Yoonbum didn’t mind at all. Instead, he chuckles lightly.

“It’s okay.”

As the air rushes throughout the club like a heatwave, the gap began to close between them, heavy breaths occupying the music and a stare that felt strangely similar. Yoonbum couldn’t really tell. In the amidst of this, Yoonbum notices a trail of sweat running down seungbae’s forehead and in a moment of pure absentness, he touches his face.

“Sweat..” Yoonbum mutters.

“..What?”

“…Your sweating. Let me wipe it off for you.”

Carefully, Yoonbum grabs a leftover tissue from his pocket and uses it to dab the sweat off, making sure that it absorbs every spot. When he finishes, he looks down to meet Seungbae’s eyes. He was expecting Seungbae to give his genial smile whenever he would do such eccentric things, that even Yoonbum himself struggles why he does it sometimes.

…Or at the very least, change the topic of conversation so Yoonbum could retain whatever pride he still had left, and they could walk on the waning line they still call a friendship.

But Seungbae didn’t resort to either of those things. The only thing that had made an inch was his hands, travelling to yoonbum’s arms. His face, unwavering and still but his eyes, fervent and consuming. Yoonbum couldn’t say a word, it was like being stuck in a limbo where neither could escape until one of them made the next move.

Then, before Yoonbum could even anticipate it, Seungbae leans forward, eyes shut and lips moving at a gradual speed.

This had to be because of a different reason. It must be. But..

Yoonbum closes his eyes.

It’s better than nothing.

“..Sorry.”

Seungbae removes his hands and moves slightly back. Yoonbum opens his eyes, confused.

“I.. don’t know what had gotten into me. Just.. I can’t believe I had tried to..” As Seungbae struggles to find his words.

..is this better?

“..Just out of my mind. please forgive me for what I had…I wouldn’t.”

“Its fine.”

Yoonbum holds onto seungbae's hands and breathes out, “it’s okay. Don't..no.”

Who are you trying to fool?

Yoonbum couldn’t take it any longer. It had to burst. Everything. All of it.

Now.

He moves his hands until it rests on seungbae’s shoulders, tiptoeing so he was close enough to his ear. Yoonbum leans closer and whispers, "Then.. how about we just get out of here instead?” momentarily taken over by a force he knew all too well about himself.

So impulsive.

By the time those words left Yoonbum’s mouth, an incredible force of shame had infiltrated into his entire being and he immediately ungrips Seungbae with such speed that he nearly trips over himself.

“Ah-“

Seungbae grabs onto his arm and pulls him back up, an unreadable expression appearing on his face. Yoonbum bites his nail. He didn’t want to look at him. It was bad enough that Seungbae had pulled away from their kiss but to also proposition him? It made him want to hit himself with a broken bottle.

“..Um. I don’t know why I…ha. You know I think maybe we both a little out of it...let’s forget about what I.. “His voice decreasing with each word he spoke, perturbed by the lack of seungbae’s reaction.

He would usually expect for Seungbae to scold him, maybe ask, “Why would you say that?” picturing seungbae with his usual confused face.

Instead, Seungbae stands motionlessly, as the music continues to vibrate throughout the dance floor.

“Seungbae-“

“Let’s do that then.”

Yoonbum turns his head up in shock and wondered briefly if his ears were just deluding him in order to make him feel better.

“It’s getting too loud in here anyway. I think we both could do with some fresh air, at least.”

Yoonbum couldn’t budge his mouth. He didn’t even what this was all supposed to mean. It was too sudden. It had felt more like a feverish fantasy born from his yearning than what was actually happening in real-life. Did Seungbae even know what he had meant by that? Or were his intentions meant to be innocuous after all?

It wouldn’t hurt to see what it actually is.

Yoonbum holds onto his sleeve and points towards the exit. Sluggishly, they walk into the masses, shifting and turning like cog machines until they arrive at the black doors, opening it with ease.

Meeting with the lukewarm breeze, they walk side-to-side on a stoned path, vivid neon signs illuminating the streets of Seoul. They didn’t talk nor even so much as look at each other. For those few lengthy seconds, they had sauntered aimlessly, looking for that something; but that something was unknown. Yoonbum grows increasingly uncomfortable, holding himself with his arms as if it were a protective barrier.

Yoonbum needed an indication, a foreseeable event that he could at least let himself down to, where was-

Oh.

A motel that was written in blue and in bold, “Mk Liberty House,” flashes across his eyes, the building being made out of white brick walls with a glass door that had said “welcome, “on top of it. The way they had placed it was subtle, seeing as it was between a convenient store and a karaoke bar.

Yoonbum looks away, but Seungbae had already caught on to the sign above him and without breaking his focus, he said, “Do you want to go in there.”

“..Sure.”

---

While the hotel clerk hands Seungbae the keys, Yoonbum feels the pressure in between his legs start to kick in fluctuating forces, almost buckling under it as he tries to control it.

“Yoonbum.”

“H-huh?”

“..Nothing. Let’s go.”

Entering the elevator, they stand next to each other.

What’s nothing?

Yoonbum tightly holds the metal bars, hands becoming sweatier by the second as the elevator continues to rise. Combined with the bulb flickering above them and the stillness between them growing prominent, he felt his anxiety peak. Yoonbum felt someone’s eyes on him, but he didn't want to acknowledge who it was. He felt confused and maybe it was misplaced but weirdly happy at the same time?

You couldn’t be already having expectations.

Yoonbum continues to peek at the doors, growing impatient. When it dings, Yoonbum felt like he was going to combust into flames.

This is it.

Are we..

Yoonbum shakes his head.

As Seungbae reaches the door, focusing too excessively on the keys, he clears his throat, “Since we aren’t thinking clearly, its better if we rest here…”

“Rest?”

“..Yeah. it would have been unwise if that if we had gone.. our separate ways. Things would go.. wrong. So a motel was...” As his voice trails off, unconvinced at his own words.

Huh?

Yoonbum couldn’t wrap around his head around.. no his head couldn’t accept this conclusion. He would have been able to understand it..

…if Seungbae hadn’t complimented him so genuinely it had felt sickly sweet.

…If he hadn’t asked to dance with him knowing Yoonbum is a horrible dancer.

...Then look at him with such warmth that it’s impossible to fathom.

..Tried to kiss him.

…Then instead of getting two separate rooms, he’s gets one for both of them? Alone? Both of them?

…Alone?

Before Yoonbum could anticipate his own actions, he reaches for seungbaes face, frantic as his breathing harshened.

“..When you tried to kiss me earlier, did you really not mean it?”

“Bum-“

When was the last time he so woefully wanted someone to touch him? At those times, he couldn’t even recognize his own being, his own voice.

A slutty animal.

..If it had meant that he had to get hurt a few more times, he thought it would be worth the pay-off.

But this was different.

Today, tonight.. this was a gamble. He wasn’t just giving himself up to just anyone. He was giving himself up to someone..who might be worth the tears this time.

When Seungbae didn’t say anything, Yoonbum grows more restless, and he reaches for seungbae’s ear again.

Don’t deny me.

“Do you really not want me?”

“I..”

“Because I can’t take it..it’s too much.”

Don’t you dare deny me any longer.

“Too.."

“Yes seungbae. you are too much. So do something about it.”

Seungbae bites his lip and leans his head against the door, mumbling words yoonbum couldn’t quite hear but when seungbae turns to face yoonbum again, yoonbums back stung with both fear and excitement.

Without another word, seungbae unlocks the door and pulls yoonbum into the room, any little remainder of self-control disappearing within mere seconds.
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Drink away your inhibitions