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The Strength To Go On	By : Emoyaoi69 Category: Manga G to L > Love Mode Views: 1504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Mode. I make no profit from writting this.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my cruel imagination *cries* *Imagination laughs*

Inspiration: Determination to get this done and completed.

Music: Senses Fail – The Fire (Album)

“Well... He just caught a cold, really. I would say he's very lucky he didn't get Hypothermia.” Kiichi said, taking the thermometer out of Izumi's mouth. “He'll be okay in about week. Just give him plenty of Water, and keep him.”

Reiji sighed heavily. “Idiot.”

Flashback

After leaving Tanaka Yuu with five men that Reiji knew quite well and trusted to do the job he had given them, Kiichi and Haruomi took the second car that the men had brought with them on request. They said their farewells to Reiji who was starting his own car's engine.

'What a day.' Reiji thought as he drove back in the direction he had came from, and back to the cemetery. Pulling up by the tall gates, and stepping out of the car, the Rain hit him hard. 'Why does it always seem to rain during funeral days. Just like Shiki's.' He's eyes darkened. Walking through the grass, in direction of Takamiya's burial site, it may have been dark- But he saw it.

The shadow on a body laying, crumpled, on the floor.

Speeding up his pace, he reached the body. Breathing out, he thought, 'Idiot'.

Putting his hand on the boy's cheek, “He's so cold.” Reiji put one arm under Izumi's knees, and the other under Izumi's arms, and lifted him. 'He eats a lot, but he is quite light.' Thinking this, Reiji looked at Takamiya's headstone.

Takamiya Katsura

April 12^th 1968– June 18^th 2006

A Son

A Nephew

A Friend

A Lover

We will miss you

“I will miss you, my dear friend.” Reiji said, a sad smile dawned his face.

End flashback

“Watch him, Kiichi. I have to get going. I have some work to do at B&B.” Reiji grabbed his Suit Jacket, and left.

Slowly blowing the smoke out of his mouth, Reiji pressed the end of the Cigarette into the Ash-Tray, grabbed the packet and lit another one.

'It's a wonder I haven't gotten Cancer yet.. forty to sixty a day isn't good, even I know that...' Reiji scoffed. Standing up, Reiji went over towards one of the walls- Where four pictures hung.

The first picture was of himself and Naoya from five years ago. Naoya's 21^st was nearing. Kiichi took the picture without telling Reiji, and as angry with his brother as he was, he was secretly pleased that he was given a copy of the picture.

The second picture was of himself, Naoya, Takamiya and Izumi. The photo was taken just before they left to go to the New Year's Eve festival. They were all wearing Kimono's. Reiji was wearing a plan Dark Blue one. Naoya, whose body was facing Reiji's, was wearing a Light Blue one. Takamiya was also wearing a Dark Blue one, but it was decorated with Yellow Stars. And Izumi, who was being lent on by Takamiya, was wearing a Light Purple one.

And the third picture was the two Aoe brothers. As much as he could hate his older brother sometimes, they were still brothers, and Reiji did love him... Sometimes.

The last photo that hung on Reiji's office wall- Was of him, Takamiya and Shiki. The picture was taken during Reiji's birthday (1). “How young do I look... Heh... Those two were the ones that caused me to get wrinkles so young... They were both so care-free...” 'I bet Shiki had a drink waiting for Takamiya.. That's just like Shiki...' Speaking of a drink, I think I need...”

After pouring himself a very large Whisky, he remembered, “What a fucking idiot...” Izumi was lying in his bed, with a cold. “Was he trying to...” Reiji frowned. “I suppose I can't blame him.” Naoya... He was an idiot, collapsing in the shower (2), giving himself a fever... Well, at least I handled it better the second time he became ill (3). Oh well... It's only a week I have to put up with the kid...” “Kid... I stopped calling him that once I finally saw that he loved Takamiya, and that it wasn't just convenient for him to have someone take care of him. He really did love you, didn't he Takamiya...” Turning around him his chair, he looked out of the full-length windows, and raised his Glass. “Kanpai, my friend.” And Reiji downed the whole glass.

At 8:12AM, Reiji closed the front door behind him, praying that Kiichi had gone home some time during the night.

“Reiji!”

'Shit!'

“Izumi woke up during the night with a high fever, but it seems to have gone down now. I was about to make him some breakfast, but you're here now, so you can do it. I need to get back, and have a couple of hour sleep, I also have to work you know...” Kiichi opened the front door, and just before closing it, he shouted: “And be nice to him!”

Sighing, Reiji walked into the bed, surprised to actually find Izumi awake and sitting. “I'll make you some breakfast.”

And that how it went on for entire eight days Izumi was staying there. Reiji leaving for work at night, coming back to make Izumi breakfast and dinner, then leaving for work again. The only conversation that was happening, was Reiji mentioning what he was going to make Izumi something for breakfast and dinner, he didn't even get a thank you. Not that he minded, but he understood why Izumi wasn't saying anything.

Reiji was sitting at the dining table. He had just gotten back from work, and he just prepared Izumi's breakfast when the young boy had walked out of the bedroom, wearing the Black Suit he had worn for Takamiya's funeral- Which meant he was ready to go home. “Sit down, and have your breakfast before you leave, Izumi.” 'There's no way he's leaving here until he's eaten something.'

Izumi didn't put up a fight. He just sat down, and to eat the Pancakes that Reiji had cooked for him. “Would you like me to drive you home?” Reiji asked while drinking a very strong, Black Coffee.

Izumi only shook his head, and continued to eat his Pancakes.

Once he was done eating, he put his dirty plate into the sink, and walked over to Reiji.

Putting his Coffee Cup down, and looking up to the younger man, Reiji wasn't quite sure what he was doing.

“...” Izumi was so nervous, he wasn't even sure he could get it out. “... … … Tha-... Thank you...” He then bolted for the front door and shut with a SLAM!

Reiji could only stare in the direction of the door. “Strange child.”

Opening the front door, the Brown-haired young man was met with nothing. No lights. No laughter. No “I've missed you, Izumi. Let's have rampant sex on the Sofa.” Just... Nothing.

“I guess... I'll just have to get used to it.” He looked like he was about to burst into tears.

Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg...

The phone had been doing that for the last hour and a half. Izumi knew who it was. His mother, who had left countless messages asking him to either pick up the phone, or call back- She was worried about him. The last time she had seen or heard from her son was Takamiya's funeral, and that was four weeks ago.

'Stop ringing! Please! Stop!' Izumi was sitting on the floor in the kitchen, the furthest room from where the phone was. And it did.

Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg... Riiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggg...

But, started again.

Nearly falling as he got up, and walked towards the phone. Izumi grabbed the annoying invention and threw it onto the floor, watching it break into several pieces- And shall never ring again. Looking over to the clock that hung over Takamiya's desk, Izumi decided it time to try and get some sleep. After all, being up at 3:01 was never good for your health. So; dragging his feet into the bedroom, and flopping onto the bed, which has looked increasingly larger in the passed four weeks, Izumi closed his eyes and planned to get more than three hours sleep- Which, he had been getting every night since Takamiya died. Except for that one night, when he got four hours sleep.

The water was running from the Kitchen tap, in fact, it was over-flowing. The entire Kitchen floor was covered in water, and the Hallway carpet was soaking it up like a sponge.

Izumi, who was wearing Light Blue long-sleeved Pyjamas, wandered in the Kitchen and found Takamiya was only wearing Jeans.

“Ta-”

“Izumi,” Takamiya stared at the young boy, his eyes were fully Black, “The worst mistake of Takamiya Katsura's life. That's your title. That is what people will know you as. Why did such a gentleman like Takamiya choose to be with this boy that isn't even gay, that doesn't love him? And their right, why did I choose to be with you? I could have had anyone I wanted, male or female, regardless of me being homosexual. What a waste of ten years, aye Izumi?” Takamiya looked back to the counter he was standing next to, lifting his right hand, he grabbed a large Knife our of the holder. “You were such an annoying brat. Always complaining. Oh well, at least now, I won't have to hear your irritating voice when you moan that you're 'not gay'”. Smiling at Izumi, Takamiya held the sharp Knife to his throat and slid it along.

Izumi was shocked. The man that he loved had said the most horrid things to him, and now... He was cutting him own throat. The joyful, care-free man was committing suicide. Izumi could only watch as the blood poured down Takamiya's topless chest. His body would not move. Not even when Takamiya's own body fell to the floor.

The room was dark, the sunlight trying to peck through the curtains had no hope of brightening up his household.

Izumi was panting, trying to catch his breath. His ears were wet where the tears from his sleep had slid down.

He didn't need to grab any clothes, he had fallen asleep in yesterday's attire, Izumi remembered to grab the key and left.

11.34AM. “Fucking Hell.” Reiji threw his jacket onto the sofa and headed straight for the Kitchen, and straight for the Whisky and poured himself a large one. Not that it stayed in the glass for more then a minute. He then poured another.

Leaning back on the sofa, took a large sip from the Glass. “Why are B&B clients so fucking demanding and rude? They get what they ask for, why complain that-”

BANG!BANG! BANG! “Reiji!”

“What now?” When Reiji opened the door, it was a wonder that he didn't fall back with the force that Izumi had tackled him with. 'Fucking great...'

Once Reiji had gotten Izumi onto the sofa, and had managed to calm the younger male down, he asked what was wrong.

“I... Hic, was dreaming and Ta... Takamiya said that he hated him and I was a waste of, hic... Of his time and he...” Izumi's eyes were darker then they had ever been lately, “Killed himself.. Cut his throat.” And he started to cry again.

Reiji, whose hand was on Izumi shoulder, felt he needed to do more. So, to his own surprise, Reiji pulled Izumi into to the most awkward of hugs. “Don't...” he sighed, “You know Takamiya loved you, and would do anything for you. Just look at him when he was trying to win you and your love over. I know it was ten years ago, but I'm sure you remember.” Izumi nodded his head. “Don't let some silly dream make you think that Takamiya didn't love you, because you and I both know he did.” Reiji, who had forgotten about his shitty clients, started to stroke Izumi's Brown hair. And he did so, until Izumi fell asleep. Reiji looked down at Izumi's face, and noted the tear-streaks down the sides of his cheeks. “Naoya...” Shaking the thought from his head; Reiji carefully moved himself away from Izumi, putting his jacket over Izumi like a Blanket, Reiji grabbed his keys and headed to the door. 'Poor kid.'

(1) Taken from Volume.11

(2) Taken from Volume.4

(3) Taken from Volume.10
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The Strength To Go On